1. Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE
2. When you go home say 'Assalamualaikum. ' (Greetings) It kicks the
shaitaan out of your home!
3. Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) described the wife as a
fragile vessel and said to take careof this vessel that's fragile.
Remember that there is goodnessin this vessel so treat it gently.
4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment.
NOT IN PUBLIC as it's a type of slandering.
5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED
6. Move and let her have your seat.It will warm her heart.
7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam said if you are angry, sit down, if you're sitting,
then lie down. Follow the sunnah!
8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!
9. Don't be rigid. It will break you. Prophet Mohammed – sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam (SAW means "May the blessings and the peace of Allah
be upon him" said 'I am the best amongst you and I am the best to my
wife'. Being rigid and harsh will not bring you close to Allah and
neither does it make you more of a man.
10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER
11. YES to flattering NO to arguing.Arguing is like poison in a marriage.
12. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said to call your wives with
the best name, any name she loves to hear. Prophet Mohammed sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam called Aisha 'ya Aish' as an endearment.
13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring
her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.
14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said the
tongue will throw people in the hell fire so watch what you say and
how you say it!
15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt)
will put barakat in your marriage.
16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.
17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dad etc.
18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.
19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realize that she is
wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.
20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet
sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said gifts increases love.
21. Get rid of the routine once in awhile, surprise her with
something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!
22. Husn e zan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to
think good of people. Think good of your spouse.
23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of
her small mistakes. It wasa practice of Ali (RA). It's like putting a
hole in your memory. Don't save it in your memory!
24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or
when she is on her monthly period.
25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.
26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking
after your children, she is much more than you, she is the leader at
home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your success.
27. Don't put your friends above your wife.
28. Help your wife at home. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam used
to help his wives at home and he was the best of creation. He used to
sew his own clothes.
29. Help her respect your parents, you can't force her to love them,
but she can be helped to gradually love them.
30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.
31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love andprotect it.
32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It's not
your business. The past is for Allah (swt).
33. Don't try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing
something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are
the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the
provider. It's also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)
34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and
wife are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as
a third person sohe is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the
shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded.
Shaitaanloves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the
devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i
have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man
divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best
job.
35. Take the food and put it in hermouth. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa
sallam taught us this. It's a blessing. The food doesn't just go to
her stomach, but straight to her heart. It increases the love and
mercy between you.
36. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong
as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said
that your wife is a trust in your hand.
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